Thinkin' & Ponderin'

Last night, before going to "sleep" I posed the following questions on Facebook: Is happiness so foreign and elusive because of fear of the unknown? Are we simply frightened of being happy because we don't truly know happiness?

 

(Wow. You're a right b*stard, you are. I wouldn't be able to sleep after that.)

 

Yea, I didn't really think about that. And you're absolutely right. The very first response I received was this:

 

"Or don't sleep and ponder one's own fears handicapping an ability to find happiness."

 

In fact I received several poignant responses such that I am compelled, for the first time, to actually quote those responses here.

 

(You already quoted somebody. ^^^up there^^^ See? So, it won't really be the first time....)

 

Be quite you. Anywhoos… One astute reader reasoned thusly:

 

"Or do we judge what our happiness is or should be because of what we see others claim makes them happy?? As if our happiness needs to be validated by others who, if you really think about it, don't truly matter in the long run anyway."

 

Another echoed the sentiment that perhaps our happiness is too driven by the influence of others:

 

"Life is uncertain because of the fear of the unknown and worse....the fear of the known. Happiness is certain because it is a decision. The sticky wicket is having the ability to harness your dreams, and expectation. Happiness can be found in the simplest of places if you're willing to choose to accept it as your own, and not be driven by the tastes and desires of others."

 

Incidentally, both readers get gold stars, with an extra star awarded for use of the term "sticky wicket."

 

I find all of these comments to be compelling. As prophetically predicted, I did indeed spend some sleeplessness pondering my own inadequacies .

 

(*snicker* I hear it happens to one in five men….)

 

Good. Grief. Juvenile much?

 

(You've met your friends, right?)

 

Touché, pussycat. Moving on…. I think it's safe to say that we all have fear. Fear of pain, fear of having our hearts broken again. Fear of taking a leap of faith and making a decision that will alter your destiny forever. But the million dollar question is why?

 

(If I answer you, will you give me a million dollars? )

 

I am now officially ignoring you.

 

(No you're not.)

 

Yes I… dammit! Stop that! If happiness is, as Reader Number Three suggests, a decision, why then don't we decide more often to be happy? Is it truly because we are too driven by the effect of others, as both Readers Two and Three suggest? Are we so afraid of the reactions to our decisions that we'll receive that we purposely refuse to decide to be happy for fear of repercussion or rejection? Perhaps. Perhaps we are.

 

Then again, happiness is a feeling, isn't it? And feeling isn't exactly a cognitive function. Feeling just happens. If it's warm out, you feel warm. You don't choose to feel warm. Likewise if you step on a Lego, you feel excruciating, torturous pain, and involuntarily spew a string of expletives that echoes three counties over.

 

(Oooooo. I hate it when that happens.)

 

Point being – You didn't choose to feel that pain. You just felt it. Is happiness any different? When you feel it, you feel it.

 

Here's my theory: We feel happiness, without thought. When we do, sometimes it feels foreign because we neither believe we're entitled to feel such a sensation nor are prepared for it. Sometimes still we may be in such a dark place that the feeling of happiness is unknown because it's been so long since we've felt it and it's faded from our memory. Or, and here's the kicker – we consciously suppress the feeling of happiness because of the underlying fear that it won't last.

 

(Thus bringing us full circle to the fear of the unknown, because we don't know lasting happiness?)

 

Exactly!

(Sonofabitch. I'm thinking like you. I… I… I need to sit down.)

 

Don't worry. It's really not so bad once you get used to it.

 

(Yeah, but you've had years of practice.)

 

Again, touché, pussycat. And I know this post hasn't really answered any of the questions that I've posed. Then again, that wasn't really the point. The point was to make you reflect on your own happiness, to feel, and to choose not to suppress those feelings.

 

(Wait a minute…. Didn't Yoda teach us to do the opposite? Are you trying to get us to come to the Dark Side?)

 

Maybe. Did I mention we have cookies?

 

 

 

© J.J. Goodman 2014. All rights reserved.