Dating, Relating, and Me

Be who you are and nothing more, and it is you the world will adore.

 

(Um, that was very Suessical of you.)

 

I know. That was the intent. Smart man, that Dr. Seuss. The Lorax will forever be one of my favorites. But not the recent movie. That kind of annoyed me, because it over-commercialized the story and overshadowed its message. Anywhoos…. What was I saying?

 

(Be who you are….)

 

Right. I'm tired of phonies. Whether it's people in my profession, people I meet socially, or women I've met through online dating, I've found that there are a great many people that simply aren't who the portray themselves to be. What's the point in pretending? I'm going to see through your façade eventually, and when I do, I'm going to lose respect for you, assuming I had any for you in the first place.

 

(I'm sensing a little bitterness here….)

 

No, not bitterness, just observation. Case in point – When I first signed up for an online dating service, I came across the profile of an attractive woman. Her profile was enticing, we connected, and eventually went out. Imagine my surprise when the woman that met me for drinks was quite a bit older than her photos represented. Not that she didn't list her true age in her profile, mind you, but the photos she had posted were at least a decade old. I mean, come on! Did you think I wouldn’t notice?

 

(Ok, playing devil's advocate, isn't that  little shallow if you liked her?)

 

No. And here's why – It wasn't the fact that she was older. She was in fact still quite attractive. What immediately turned me off though was the fact that she misrepresented herself right off the bat for no reason whatsoever. Call me crazy, but if you're looking to meet someone and potentially start a relationship, dishonesty from the get-go isn't exactly the best way to start off.

 

(You're crazy.)

 

You disagree?

 

(No, but you said "call me crazy.")

 

True. I… hey! That's not what I meant!

 

(*gigglesnort*)

 

Why do I talk to you?

 

(Because 1. You know your readers are thinking the same thing, and 2. Well, there's that whole crazy thing….)

 

I…dammit. Touché, pussycat.

 

My point is, be who you are. If someone doesn't like you, you don't need them in your life. Far too often we strive to achieve respect or admiration from those unwilling or unable to give it out of some narcissistic need to be loved. Of course we need to be loved, it's in our nature, but occasionally so much unnecessary emphasis is placed on that need to the point that it becomes debilitating. It becomes so overreaching, in fact, that it pushes us to act differently and to pretend to be something other than what we are. And then we wonder when our relationships fail or people don't ultimately appreciate us for the person we are inside. And it's all because we simply weren't who we are in the first place!

 

(It kind of scares me when you make this much sense.)

 

Don't feel bad. It scares the bejeebus out of me too. Thankfully these moments of clarity are usually few and far between. It may be because I actually got some sleep last night.

 

(Shut the front door!)

 

Well, I was medicated….

 

(Annnnnd there it is.)

 

Oh shut it. If I've one piece of advice to give, it's this: Just be. Don't try to be. When you try to be, whatever it is you're trying to be, you're often not being, because what you're trying to be isn't what you should be by just being.

 

(While that sentence makes grammatical sense, it still makes my head hurt.)

 

Mine too, but think about it. If you're trying to be something, that means you're putting forth effort. You shouldn't have to put forth effort to be yourself. It should just happen, like breathing or hating the new not-a-Cherokee. It should just come naturally.

 

(Bloody hell with the Cherokee thing. You're never going to let that go, are you?)

 

Nope.

 

(*sigh*)

 

I'm ignoring you. So the moral of the story is be yourself. There's no one else you need to be. If that's not good enough for someone, then they're not good enough for you.

 

(But, what about Boba Fett?)

 

See, this is why I keep you around. Revised moral of the story – Be yourself, unless you can be Boba Fett. Always be Boba Fett.

 

(You're welcome.)

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.

.

 

I bet you thought you were gonna get the last word in with that one, didn't you?

 

(It was worth a shot.)

 

Nice try.

 

(Do, or do not, there is no try….)

 

Enough with the Star Wars!

 

(*chuckle*)

 

Good grief. We're done here. I need to go be me.

 

 

© J.J. Goodman 2014. All rights reserved.