I'm Not. Neither Are You.

I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately.

(Oooooo shiny!)

Not THAT kind of reflecting, nitwit. As in the looking back on my life and thinking about Jack Handey, deep thought kind of stuff.

(You’re good enough, you’re strong enough, and gosh darn it, people like you?)

Yes. I mean no. Well, wait…. Yes, I'm good enough and smar… Stop distracting me!

(Sorry.)

Grrr. Anyway, yes, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. About who I am, what makes me happy, and to what end I should strive. Putting all of that down on the proverbial paper helps me to clear my mind and process the thoughts that keep me up at night.

(Like why ostriches can't fly?)

I, what? No! Well, it will now, dammit. No, I'm talking about the thoughts I don't want to think about. My faults. My weaknesses. My shortcomings. My insecurities. All of those things that make me second guess myself. I talk a good game sometimes, and write on these pages about how I need to let those things go, but let's be honest here – As much as I try, and while most times these days I am successful, there are just those times when I find myself sitting alone and thinking well, sh*t. Things still kinda suck. They don't, really. I'm healthy. I have a good job and great friends/family. But perhaps most importantly, I am not alone.

I write because it's therapeutic for me. It's a release. It gets things out of my head and keeps me sane.

(Really? Sane? That's a bit of a stretch….)

Hey! I… ok you got me there. But you get the point. Admittedly when I write post like this, it's selfish of me. I'm venting and basically forcing my inner monologue on you, my readers.

(Actually, you're not forcing anything on us. We don't have to read this, you know. We choose to.)

And therein lies something wonderful – confirmation that I. Am. Not. Alone.

I had a great chat last night with an old friend, during which my friend praised me for writing the things I write and reminded me that there are many out that share my sentiments, though they may not be able to express them. Perhaps they're afraid to, or perhaps they have trouble finding the words as easily as I may sometimes. Nevertheless, my friend made me realize that I am not alone, and it was a most uplifting and humbling conversation. Not only because it reminded me that I'm not alone, but also that my words let others know that they aren't alone either.

As a writer, my primary goal is to entertain. I've said it before, I'm saying it now, and I certainly will say it again – If I can make just one person smile with what I write, I've done my job. I joke, I quip, I add parenthetical sarcasm to illustrate points and hopefully make you laugh. I write songs and poetry with the goal of invoking emotion. And I write stories intending to spark your imagination. But when I write things to vent, it's little more than raw emotion - It's me, at my basest, putting a random stream of consciousness into words. It's my way of spreading my doors open wide and inviting the world in for a peek.

(We appreciate that, but can you just make sure you have pants on?)

I can't make any promises.

(Fair enough.)

A funny thing happens, though, when I open those doors. People actually come inside. Sometimes they stay a while. Other times they simply pass through. And sometimes still, they open their doors to me in return. As much as I love to write, and as much as I strive to express myself with my writing, there are just no words to describe how it makes me feel when someone reaches out to simply say "hey, what you wrote? I feel the same way."

I am not alone.

Try saying those words. Out loud. If there's no one around, shout them out. Hell, shout it even if there are others around. Scream it from the top of your lungs. I. AM. NOT. ALONE. We may feel that way sometimes. I know I sure do. But I'm not. And neither are you. Even at your worst, even when you are so full of despair that you feel as if you've been sucked into a black hole whose gravity is crushing down on you, you are not alone. And if you think you are alone, even if you believe it to your core, you're not. If you need a reminder, read this again. And say the words.

I. Am. Not. Alone.

There are always, ALWAYS, those to whom you can turn. A parent. A sibling. A best friend. Even in the words of a stranger like me, for those that don't me, you'll find someone standing beside you. You may not always see us, but we're there. Waiting patiently for that moment when you need us most. So say it again.

I am not alone.

(Even if I think Keanu Reeves is a great actor?)

No. I have to draw the line somewhere.

(But, but, you just said….)

I'm kidding. You're still not alone. But you do have to go stand in the corner and wear a tin foil hat.

(HEY!)

*gigglensort*

(I think the new Jeep Cherokee is awesome.)

You shut your mouth. You shut your mouth RIGHT NOW!!!!

(*gigglesnort* back at ya, there, sport.)

Touché, pussycat.

(I loved that Tom and Jerry cartoon!)

Me too. See? You're not alone after all.

© J.J. Goodman 2014. All rights reserved.