J.J. Goodman: Writings, Musings and More

So, just what does happen in my mind after: 1) a really long workday; B) ending said day with a harrowing, "Bambi-nearly-has-violent-physical-relationship-with-Jeep" moment; 3) resulting, adrenalin-induced insomnia; and 4) multiple cups of caffeinated beverages the next morning? (Oh. Sweet. Bejeebus.) Shush, you. This is when I write some of my best stuff. (Touché. Carry on.) Thank you. As I was saying… what was I saying? Oh, right. What happens, blah blah blah. What happens is my mind filling with inanity. (More than usual?) HEY!!!! (*snicker*) Enough from you, pretend, parenthetical heckler. But yes, more than usual. Dictionary.com defines "inane" as The Book of Mormon and… wait. Never mind. That's an advertisement. Where… ok there it is. Dictionary.com defines inane as "lacking sense, significance or ideas; silly; empty; void." The adjective inane is typically associated with questions, i.e. inane questions, such as...

"Onto thee, descends the darkness…." "Is she serious with this?" "Shhhh!!! Just listen," Will admonished. Jackson rolled his eyes, crossed his arms across his chest and leaned back in his chair. He didn't believe in all this occult bullshit, but he had promised his buddy Will that he'd go to the psychic fair with him. Will's husband would have otherwise gone, but he was in Seattle to handle some estate affairs for his mother. "…darkness through which the demons emerge…." "Come on, dude, you really believe this shit?" Suddenly the room went quite as the speaker turned her attention to Jackson. "I see we have a skeptic in our midst." Jackson, still with his arms crossed, simply raised an eyebrow. "What is it that prevents you from believing, sir?" "I believe what I can see. What I can feel. Spooky incantations and dry ice fog are nothing more than parlor tricks." T...

Seriously…. I don't know where this song stuff is coming from. Let me know what you think…. _____________________ Take Me Away Save me From my sins, from this madness Save me From the tears and the sadness Save me Free me From these shackles, from these chains Free me From this sorrow and the pain Free me Take me away where the sun shines high And my troubles float away in the sky Take me away where the surf hugs the beach And my troubles are far out of reach Save me From myself, from this dream Save me From things that aren't what they seem Save me Free me From here, from this place Free me From occupying this space Free me Take me away where the sun shines high And my troubles float away in the sky Take me away where the surf hugs the beach And my troubles are far out of reach Save me From time, from things unclear Save me From the shadows and fear Save me Free me From the night, from...

Kara let out an involuntary yelp when the elevator car went dark. "What just happened?" "Try to stay calm. Either the generators or emergency barriers went out. I suggest just laying down and closing your eyes." "You know how you said you were claustrophobic?" "Yeah." "I hate the dark. I hate it. Even now I sleep with the light on my iHome turned all the way up. I don't think I can handle this!" "Kara, listen to me. Close your eyes. Breathe in slowly, and then exhale slowly. Do that a few times, and try to clear your mind. It will help, trust me." Reluctantly, Kara did as instructed. To her surprise, the exercise had the desired effect. Her heart rate slowed, and her head felt clearer. "Wow." "See?" "Thank you," she said softly. He could hear the embarrassment in her voice. "There's nothing to be ashamed of. It took me a while to deal with my iss...

Dear Readers: This, what you are hopefully about to read, is my one-hundredth post to this blog. Ninety-times previously I've written, sharing personal anecdotes, ideas, sarcasm, cynicism, joy and sorrow. I can honestly say that in each and every entry, there has been a piece of me. Some call it ego, or arrogant self-promotion. Call it what you will, but if I am not expressing my self through words, I am not me. If you don't want to read what I offer, don't read. It's that simple. If you're so willing, however, I offer more of me in this, my centennial post. The framework of this post was a note that I originally wrote on Facebook sometime in 2009, and re-published here in July of 2011. This will likely have a different tone from what you've seen in the past. I have bolded those portions of this post which remain unchanged from the prior versions. What you see here is a reflection of how I have grown, how my life has progressed, since I first wrote put ...

Following in the linguistic footsteps of Dubbya's strategery and Stephen Colbert's truthiness, I bring you the following list of utterly as useful as they are completely made up words to incorporate into your vernacular. Have enjoyousness reading. ________________________ Conversate (v) – To participate in the act of engaging in conversation.   Example : He needs to conversate with his wife about buying a motorcycle. Communiplative (adj) – adjective used to describe one who contemplates aloud while seeking the advice of others. Example : He was communiplative with his buddies on how to conversate with his wife about buying a motorcycle.   Denialation (n) – The annihilation of dreams brought on by spousal denial.   Example : After conversating with his wife, his plan to buy a motorcycle was met with swift denialation. Beeritation (n) – Irritation exacerbated by the induction of alcohol. Example : Sad that he had been denialated a motorcycle, he went ...

"You're just going to sit there?" "You do notice we're not moving, right?" "Yeah, but…." He shook his head and closed his eyes again while she continued to pace frantically. It had only been about twenty minutes. They had already called for help once. Now there was nothing left to do but wait. "I hate elevators," she remarked. "This is why. They're not safe. What if we die in here?" He let out an audible sigh. "Look, we didn't plummet to our death, did we? No. We didn't. Yes, we're stuck. There's a blizzard outside, and from what they told me on the phone, half the city is without power. We're just going to have to wait it out." "How can you be so calm?" "Because I choose to be." She opened her mouth to speak but found no words. There was a simplicity in his answer for which she wasn’t prepared. Resigning herself to the situation, she plopped ...