J.J. Goodman: Writings, Musings and More

[Days later – Caitlin grabs phone and types….] Caitlin: Hey *pause* C:     So, 2 gnus walk into a bar… Josh: *YAWN* Seriously? 2:37 am and you start with 2 gnus walk into a bar? C:     Yup. So 2 gnus walk into a bar. Bartender says to one of them what's gnu with    you? J:      Oh bloody hell… C:     …and the other gnu says hey! I'm not with him, he's with me! Ha! Get it?? J:      Please don't ever reproduce.  C:     Come on! That was funny!! J:      Is that what that was? C:     Grrrrr… J:      *gigglesnort* C:     So… J:      So, what? C:     You're kidding, right? J:      What??? C:     You said you l...

Have you ever been humbled? And I'm not talking about that awkward moment when, in the middle of an argument over when Down Under was released in the US, you realize that it was in fact released in the summer of '82 and not '81 as you had been vehemently claiming. And I'm certainly not talking about that moment when you're standing at the urinal and happen to accidently let your eyes wander and immediately determine that the guy next must be a freak of nature for having such an enormous… *Ahem* No. not talking about that, because that's never happened. Ever. Ever ever ever. *Whistling* No, no, no… I'm talking about being truly humbled. As in having a feeling of insignificance, or otherwise feeling unworthy of that which has been bestowed upon you. That feeling of…oh for the love of sweet bejeebus, STOP THINKING ABOUT WIENERS. I'm trying to be serious here! You know who you are. (Can I get back to it now? pleaseandthankyou.) I'm talking about t...

One can find inspiration in the smallest of places.... *** It's a story that's been told a thousand times over, whether by the likes of Jules Verne or Dr. Seuss. New worlds, strange worlds, tiny words existing on a dimension different from our own. To some extent, there is truth to the notion. Deep within the sea, or hidden beneath layers of lush greenery in the Brazilian rain forests lie microcosms of life we've not yet discovered. While Nash appreciated the science, he never could quite believe that Horton ever really heard a Who.  Nashville Roberts, named for the city in which he was conceived, had always been a skeptic. Born of the unlikely marriage between a hippie mother and Air Force pilot father, Nashville never found a place, or personality, in which he felt comfortable. Incredibly bright, Nashville breezed through high school, college, and two master's programs, one in philosophy and one in biology. He had toyed with the idea of getting his PhD, but c...

Josh:     Pssssst Caitlin: What? J:           Nuthin. I'm bored        C:        Do you know what time it is??? J:           Yes. Why? C:         This is payback for the other night, isn't it? J:           *snicker* C:         I hate you. J:          No you don't. C:         What do you want Josh? J:           A Ferrari, a date with Olivia Wilde, maybe some Cheetos… *pause* C:         You took an Ambien before texting me, didn't you? J:           Maybe… C:     ...

There are a great number of my friends who, like me, live a woeful life of insomnia. Many times we will find each other online late at night (or early morning) and have odd, inane, over-the-counter-medication-induced conversations. These are the kind of conversations that will cause you to say, after re-reading them in a more coherent state (like, say, New Hampshire... but certainly not Colorado, maaaaaaan, after the law they recently passed....), "What. The... Who the hell is Princess Persnickety Pants and why did I claim to be her Overlord Lover from Planet Stallion?" (Ok, fine, maybe they only cause me to say that... and for the record, Princess Persnickety Pants is quite the catch.)   Did I lose you already? In answer to that question which you are now asking yourself aloud (after which, also aloud, you will ask yourself why you're talking to your computer and then blame it on the Mt. Dew), No, I did not get much sleep last night. Next question: Poi...