Remembering a Friend

A friend of mine died today. He was barely forty years old. My friend is gone, and I am ashamed. I am ashamed because, frankly, I am not entitled to feel the personal loss that I feel from his passing. He and I were not nearly as close as we probably should have been. We shared the same, closest friends, and it was through their grace, love and hospitality that he and I, and others, were able to reconnect just a short while ago. Though separated by miles and years, it took the lot of us merely minutes of being in each others' company to laugh, remember and embrace. I am ashamed because my friend has slipped from my life without me taking the time to fully welcome him back into it. That, I will forever regret.

As I sit here and ponder though, I realize that I shouldn't be ashamed to feel personal loss. He was a good man and a good father. He had a generous heart and infectious smile. Everyone, every single person that knew him, should feel a personal loss, because the world has lost a kind and caring soul. I do grieve, not only for his loss but for the heartache that has befallen those that loved him. His family, his friends, my friends.

My friends are my family. I love them, I hurt for them. I will bleed, and yes even lay down my life for them. I write this to let them know that I love them dearly, and my heart breaks knowing that there is nothing I can do to assuage their pain. If all I can do is write these words to remind them how precious they are to me, then I will write these words again, again and again.

At first I questioned why, why someone so pure of heart was taken so soon, so young. There is no answer. There is no reason. There is simply the fact that he is gone.

Each of us will grieve, and each of us will take from his passing that which we need to take. For me, I take the following:

• Life is too short and too unpredictable to take for granted. If you love someone, tell them. If you've hurt someone, ask for forgiveness. If you've been hurt, forgive. We've only one chance at this, don't waste it.
• Take every opportunity available to you to live. Call. Text. Skype. Visit. Connect. Be a part of someone's life and accept them into yours. We are social creatures, and are meant to live and love together.
• Smile. Even when you don't want to. Sometimes something as simple as a smile can lighten a mood, make someone feel welcome, or loved. Smile for yourself and all those around you.
• Open yourself. Be there for those who need you, always. Love those who do not know how to be loved. Hold out a hand, even if they refuse to take it. Laugh with your friends. Cry with them. Hold them, or sit silently beside them, just so that they know you are there, always.
• Take. Nothing. For. Granted. Our time is short, far too short. Appreciate what you have while you have it, because your world can disappear in an instant.

One friend is gone, and others are hurting. Those are things I cannot change. All I can do is be here for them, and remind them that they are not alone.

This post is dedicated to my friend and all those that loved him.