There's no Place like Blog for the Holidays....

So, here's the thing about holidays; they're awesome, and they suck rocks.

 

(Oh boy. How much coffee have you had already?)

 

You be quiet. I'm trying to be serious here. This time of year is often described as the "happiest time of the year" by many, but for many others, it's nothing of the sort. The holidays can be a time of great sorrow and depression as folks are forced to witness revelry while experiencing great loss or pain, with such revelry only exacerbating the melancholy they feel inside.

 

On this, I can speak from experience. For me, Christmas has been difficult for decades as my grandfather, the patriarch of my family who literally built his home brick by brick, and laid the groundwork for the closely-knit, emotional bonds those in family share, passed away on Christmas Eve. While now we celebrate our family and remember him fondly, the pain of that loss will forever linger each twenty-fourth day of December. Add to that the fact that I've had two long-term relationships go nuclear around Thanksgiving… Let's just say the holiday season hasn't exactly been high on my list of things to which I look forward.

 

Let's face it though – my experiences pale in comparison to what others face, and I am in fact quite lucky to have what I have, and to be with the people in my life at this time of year. I am making a concerted effort to keep the holidays and Christmas in my heart, not just for me but for the others around me.

 

(His heart grew two sizes that day…)

 

Shut it. I'm no Grinch. Nor am I a Scrooge, but there's certainly been some humbug. My point is that I have slowly but surely been able to crawl out of my humbug hole, and I encourage those reading this to do the same. Here's my handy dandy elves' guide to making it through the Holidays:

 

1.         Be nice. In this age, and in particular, this season, of capitalistic excess, it costs nothing. Don't complain about how long the line is; strike up a conversation with the person in front of you. Smile at the cashier. Hell, buy a $10 gift card for the person behind you. Recognize that this is a difficult time as people struggle with seasonal expectations. As someone who worked in retail, you have no idea how much a store clerk so greatly appreciates simple, common courtesy. And who knows; maybe, just maybe, if you're nice to others, in line, in the crowded mall, in the grocery store, it might just make their day, and yours too.

 

2.         Stop being so offended and self-righteous. There are something like 12,417 holidays between November and January. If someone wished you a "happy holidays" instead of "merry Christmas" just smile and say "thank you, same to you." You have absolutely no right to be offended. Similarly, you have no right to complain that a paper holiday cup at a coffee shop isn't Christmasy enough. So the cup doesn't have Santa or Christmas trees and snowmen and whatnot. You so called Christians who complain that there isn't enough Christmas on the cup, remember this; Jesus Christ, whose birth we celebrate on December 25^th, lived in the Middle East, i.e. an area where there is no snow and that lies a quadrillion million miles away from the North Pole. You're actually complaining that your no-fat soy milk half foam latte came in a cup that isn't pagan enough, you do realize that, right? Right?? No, you probably don't. Just like so many of you complain about refugees yet place nativity scenes in your front yards depicting an act of kindness to house… refugees…. *ahem* Similarly, don't get your knickers in a twist if someone wishes you a merry Christmas instead of happy holidays. They're taking time out of their day to wish you tidings of the season. Instead of getting pissy and overly politically correct, smile and say "thank you, same to you." Seriously. Accept kindness where given, in whatever form.

 

3.         Remember that you don't have to force yourself to be happy. As I said, this is a tough time of year for many, and often it's made worse because you place upon yourself a false expectation of happiness. It's ok to feel sad. It's okay to not want to deck the halls or go caroling or drink egg nog at the office holiday party. Don't force yourself. If others expect you too, well, that's their problem. Do what it is right for you. Don't try to be happy because someone else thinks you should be happy. At the same time, try remembering that there are those of us who love you and care about you, and if you want to be happier, we will do everything in our power to help you achieve that goal. To that end….

 

4.         Recognize that there are those who don't make so merry and jolly this time of year, and be there for them. Don't force cheer on them, just be there for them. Offer a smile, a joke, a hug or something so simple as letting them know that you understand, and remind them that if they need anything, you're a phone call away. Again, speaking from my own experience, knowing I had support even if I didn't think that I wanted it had a much deeper effect on me than I perhaps realized at the time.

 

5.         Be thankful. We get so caught up in the materialism of the season. We trample people in Walmarts trying to get deals on Black Friday. We forget how much good we have in our lives, and we take it for granted. Remember what you have, even if it's meager; whether it's the love of a pet, your family or friends; a favorite blanket, or the feeling you get watching falling snow reflecting off twinkling lights. Be thankful for servicemen and women, first responders, and all those protecting us. Be thankful for what you have, because it can disappear in an instant.

 

6.         While you're being thankful for all that you have, remember those that don't have as much, and be generous. Be kind. Even if you don't have much, a donation as little of $5.00 buys a child a toy they wouldn't receive otherwise have, or a homeless person a meal they couldn't make for themselves. It's not about how much you give, but the giving itself. Find a charity, or cause; donate your money, or if you can't do that, your time. Little gestures go a long way. Giving of yourself not only helps others, but you'd be surprised just how much it might help you, too.

 

Sure, it's easy for me to say all of this. I understand that. This list is by no means exhaustive, and it's not intended as a checklist. These are some of the things I try to do, or notions I endeavor to embrace, at this time of year. Make your own list. Do what's comfortable and right for you. But whatever you do, remember that not everyone shares your religion, your joy, or your sadness. We are each unique, perhaps even more so this time of year. That's okay. In fact, that's wonderful. But whatever you do, please for all you hold Holy, do not play that awful Christmas Shoes song. Seriously; that is the worst Christmas song ever.

 

(Some of us like that song, you know.)

 

*sigh* Fiiiine. Just don't play it around me. That's my Christmas wish. Now go forth. It's a marshmallow world in the winter…

 

(When the snow comes to cover the gr… oh you right bastard. It's been a while since you earwormed us.)

 

It could have been worse. I could have reminded you that grandma got run over by a rei—

 

(DON'T. Just don't.)

 

Fair enough. Merry ChristmaHanuKwanzakkuh. And Happy Boxing Day for my Canadien pals.

 

(Five… golden toques....)

 

Four pounds of back bacon, three French toasts, two turtlenecks and… sing it with me….

 

(A beeeeeer, innnnnnn a treeeeee-eeeeee-eeee-eeeee!)

 

Happy holidays, folks. May your season be full of cheer.

 

~JJ

 

 

© 2016 J.J. Goodman. All rights reserved.