An Unapologetically Visceral Reaction

What. The. Actual Fuck. America.

 

Here we are, November 9^th, 2016, in the twenty-first century, and you have elected an unashamedly racist, misogynistic, bigoted, hateful, arrogant, narcissistic, reality television star to lead our nation.

 

*slow clap*

 

Well done.

 

(Tell us how you really feel….)

 

Oh I will. And I have. And I've already drawn ire for pointing out the fact that I am disappointed and ashamed of what this nation has done. I've already been accused of "spewing hate" because I've pointed out that this nation appears to be far more bigoted, racist, and dumber than I could have possibly imagined.  To that I say… Are you kidding me?

 

Seriously.

 

Are. You. Kidding me?

 

Trump's entire campaign was based on disparaging minorities. Threatening to curtail civil liberties, those both long-standing or finally granted, including revisiting the rights of all Americans to marry. Threatening to obliterate a health care system that, while far from perfect, provided health care coverage to more Americans than at any other time in history. He advocated violence against his detractors. He mocked the disabled. He picked as a running mate someone who believes that evolution and climate change are nothing more than theories. He's called those of Latino descent murderers and rapists. I could go on. Sadly, I could go on.

 

And yet, somehow, my pointing out the fact that by electing someone who holds such priorities, Americans are complacent in accepting his policies… That's what you consider "spewing hatred"?

 

No.

 

That's calling out all who elected him to examine this more closely than they did before electing him. That's asking you to reflect on the following:

 

You elected an aging billionaire who brags about not paying taxes and expect him to be the champion of the middle class?

 

You elected a man who brags about grabbing women by the pussy and expect him to be the champion of women's rights?

 

You elected a man who has demonstrated time and again his business failures, one whose products are manufactured in China, and expect him to buoy American business?

 

You elected a man who chose as a running mate someone who advocates for conversion therapy for homosexuality, and expect him to be the champion of equality?

 

You elected a man who was once quite close friends with the woman you sought to defeat, yet don't question his change in stance?

 

You elected a man who is currently standing trial for fraud, and you think he's capable of leading our nation with honesty?

 

But yet I'm espousing hate by pointing all of this out?

 

I have no doubt that Americans, like the English in the wake of Brexit, while have a somber, sobering moment of realization in which they ask themselves "what in God's name have we done?"

 

Was the desire for change really worth it?

 

There are those that did vote for Trump solely because of their racism and misogyny. If you can't accept and acknowledge that, then your eyes aren't truly open. Do all of those that voted hold those same ideals? No, I'm sure they do not. But how can you support someone who does?

 

That is a question the answer to which I will never understand.

 

What makes all of this even worse for me is that fact that you didn't actually elect him. According to Fox News, of all sources, Clinton is leading and will ultimately win the popular vote. Thus, the majority of Americans did not choose this; Trump's ascension to power will be the result of the Electoral College System. Thus, for the second time in my adult, voting lifetime, America will have elected one person for president by popular vote but another will take the oath of office. I'll leave the debate over the utility of the Electoral College for another day, but the fact remains….

 

Was Hillary Clinton the answer? Perhaps not. Would be better off if she were president? Maybe, maybe not. But… oh, the but….

 

I am a Catholic. A Christian. And I cannot fathom the notion that people think God had a hand in this election. That God would favor this repugnant individual. Sorry, no. This man is an affront to my Christian beliefs. Love thy neighbor? Of course… so long as that neighbor isn't a woman, gay, black, Latino, or Muslim. Thou shalt not commit adultery… or commit it twice, whichever. Again I could go on, but to what end? I'm not going to sway anyone with this. It's too late for that.

 

So why am I writing this? Because I know so many that feel as I do, yet won't say it out loud. I'm not afraid of repercussion. I'm not trying to change anyone's mind. I'm telling the word what I feel. I'm trying to be a voice for those afraid or incapable of putting into words their feelings. Because I need to. Because I can.

 

I am heartbroken. I am devastated. I am fearful. And yet I'm asked in the immediate wake of this election to bond together with those that elected this man.

 

Sorry, I can't yet. Not yet. So don't ask me to. Not right now.

 

I find a great deal of irony in the fact that I'm being asked to now unite with those who voted against nearly everything I stand for. Where was the unity then? Where was the love for all our fellow Americans then?

 

Yet I am spewing hate. I'm being divisive.  

 

To quote our President-Elect…

 

Wrong.

 

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to heal the wounds this election inflicted on my country. I don't know how to move on from this. Right now I'm incapable of moving on from this. Yet I have to. We all have to. But for those of us that this election will affect deeply, we cannot be asked to simply shrug it off and do so immediately.

 

That's not how grief works.

 

I know that I will have to lead by example. I know that I have to fight against oppression, and bigotry and hate. I know that I have to move on from this, and continue to be true to myself and to those I care about. 

 

I need to find a way, but right now, I can't. Not yet. I'll try. I have to try. We all need to try. We need to find a way to heal from this. It's going to take time. I hope for all of our sakes that Trump doesn't follow through on his promises. I hope for all of our sakes that Congress will reign in his rhetoric and not allow hatred and bigotry to guide our governance. I hope for all of our sakes the healing takes less time that I envision, because if it doesn't, we, all of us, including you who voted for Trump, are going to very quickly experience what could be the devastating effects of this election.

 

I'm done. I'm exhausted. I've said all I can say. Agree or disagree. It's your right.

 

 

© 2016 J.J. Goodman. All rights reserved.