Humorless Humans of the Interwebs

"My death will likely result from my being sarcastic at the wrong time."

 

(Duh.)

 

That is one of my favorite memes/quotations from the interwebs, not just because, well, it's likely true, but because it is illustrative of one of the biggest problems I see in today's society.

 

(And that would be….)

 

People's utter lack of humor.

 

(I…can't disagree.)

 

Because you get it. You, the folks reading this, get it, because by and large you and I are like-minded. WE can appreciate the humor in most situations, and have enough savvy to understand cynicism, sarcasm, and humor in general. Many, and when I say "many" I mean the indigenous tribes of trolls residing on the internets, do not.

 

Case in point - Last night on a couple of hockey-related posts, I posted the following about last night's Sabres/Oilers game:

 

"Everyone associated with, or a fan of the Sabres: Okay Lehner, this is a huge game for Jack Eichel – first head to head game against McDavid. Whatever you do, do NOT let McDavid score, got it?

 

Robin Lehner: *Lets McDavid score both first goal of the game 22 seconds in and OT game winner*"

 

(*snicker* That's kinda funny… because you're pointing out the irony… I get it.)

 

Most of you reading this will think so, because you understand that a) I'm not attacking Lehner, I'm poking fun at the hype surrounding the game; and 2) IT'S A F*CKING JOKE.

 

Well whoa nelly dearie me, imagine the responses! Many "liked" the comment, while others took umbrage, and others still, well, you'd think that I'd just broken into their homes and kicked their puppies.

 

(Hahaha… wait, you're serious, aren’t you?)

 

Dead serious. There was personal attack, name-calling, (misplaced) righteous indignation….

 

For. F*ck's. Sake. Lighten up Francis!

 

(People really got all snippy???)

 

Like you wouldn't believe. But let's break it down, shall we? First, the sentiment I proffered, i.e. that Sabres fans hoped that goaltender Robin Lehner would shut McDavid down and that Eichel would come out on top in the game, is a fairly accurate representation of Sabres fans' thoughts. B) Did Lehner allow McDavid to score 22 seconds into the game? YES. 3) Did Lehner allow McDavid to score the over time, game winning goal? YES.

 

So, was anything I said in any way untrue? NO.

 

Did people act like I was accusing Lehner of slapping babies? YES.

 

Why?

 

(People are overly sensitive and stupid?)

 

Winner winner chicken dinner!

 

Come on people, really. Lighten up. If you can't find the humor in that situation and recognize that, for all the hype, the exact OPPOSITE of what Sabres fans were hoping for, happened, then take an extra dose of Xanax before you go to bed tonight. OR stay of the interwebs, because clearly you don't know how to interweb.

 

(Not for nothing, but Lehner was terrible on those two goals. Out of position on the first, didn't stay tight to the post on the second. Just sayin.)

 

Yeah, well, there's that. But Dog forbid you point that out and everyone's all "But he made 39 saves! If it wasn't for him, the score would have been 6-1! And the Germans wouldn't have stopped bombing at Pearl Harbor!!!!!!"

 

(*gigglesnort* Animal House….)

 

See? You got that, too! Because you're able to understand that life is too serious, and that we should find humor where we can.

 

Another of my favorite internet memes? "You find it offensive. I find it funny. That's why I'm happier than you."

 

I've know I've mentioned both of those quotations before, because there is a lot of truth to them. More and more, especially this year, what with the upcoming election and all, I'm finding that I really don't like…people.

 

(It took you this long to figure that out?)

 

Well, no, I've had a general disdain for the humorless and overly sensitive for some time. That feeling has just been exacerbated most recently. I read another "debate" on a friend's wall regarding politics, and was dismayed at how quickly my friend's friend devolved to name calling, foul language, etc. It saddens me.

 

Video may have killed the radio star, the Internet has killed civility. Do you know what the worst part about public opinion is?

 

(The public?)

 

Bingo. Everyone's all about Freedom of Speech, until someone makes a joke or says something with which you disagree…. Civil discourse is a lost art. We've become such a reactionary society that we cannot hold simple, civil conversation, or make quips about the outcomes of hockey games, without someone taking the conversation to DEFCON 1.

 

Another favorite meme: "Today's inspirational quote: Don't be a dick."

 

One guy went on a mini-diatribe to tell me how extraordinarily unfunny my jest about Eichel/McDavid was. Okay pal, fine, you didn't think it was funny. Don't be a dick about it.

 

LIGHTEN. UP. FRANCIS.

 

I really wonder about people that feel the need to act like that on social media. I'm guessing that if they're dicks on Facebook, they're also dicks in real life; the kind of people with low self-esteem that have to bolster their own self-worth by disparaging others. I pity those people, I really do. I generally try not to respond to the name-callers and bullies, because it only fuels their egos and arrogance. The many "likes" on my comment is enough for me to know that others share my feelings. For the nasty-nellies – being a dick only shows the world that you're a dick.

 

(Like Donald Drumph?)

 

Precisely. You want to make America great again? Don't be a dick. You'd be surprised how far we'd get if more people heeded those words. A person might even *GASP* get a sense of humor and enjoy life a little more. I mean, why can't we be friends?

 

(Why can't we be friends, why can't we be — DAMMIT!!!!)

 

You're welcome.

 

(*sigh*)

 

Is ear worming dickish?

 

(A little, but we have senses of humor, so we can let it go.)

 

Let it go, let it go, I am one with the… sonofabiscuit. So that's how that feels.

(You're welcome.)

 

Well, go, go forth and interweb. But heed my words and be careful out there.  Because ooo baby, it's a wild world.

 

(*bangs head on desk*)

 

My work is done here. Go Sabres.

 

© 2016 J.J. Goodman. All rights reserved.