So long, 2015!

IshouldreallyknowbetterthantodrinkaMtnDewKickstartwithlunchweeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

(Oh dear sweet cripes, here we go….)

 

You be quiet. I am actually not that wired.

 

(Uh huh. And Keanu Reeves is a good actor.)

 

You. Be. Quiet.

 

(Sorry, I thought you said "weird," not "wired." My bad.)

 

*blink blink*

 

AHEM. So for those just joining us, and there's been a few additions of late, let me introduce you to my blog and the Parenthetical Heckler. Here on these pages I post pretty much anything and everything, from short stories, to songs and poetry, to satire, social commentary, and on extremely rare occasions, some political rants, though I generally try to avoid those. These pages are my outlet, and without the means to get the words out of my head and onto these pages, I'd likely go fifty shades of insane. So it is here where I share, well, me. All this stuff you see? All these words? Straight outta my head, for better or worse.

 

From time to time I would, and still, get messages from folks asking me questions like "did you forget your medication?" Or "where do you come up with this stuff?" Or sometimes simple statements like "there is something seriously wrong with you." So…. Eventually I began to imagine people's reactions to the things I write and I began incorporating those imagined comments into the body of my work as a literary means of moving my anecdotes along… thus was born the Parenthetical Heckler you see above.

 

(And here.)

 

Yes, thank you, I think they get it.

 

(And here, too.)

 

*gives evil eye*

 

Anywhoooos…. For today's installment, as we near the end of 2015, I thought I might reflect a bit, exude a little sarcasm and cynicism, maybe throw in an earworm or two, and generally try to do what I generally try to do, namely make one or more of you smile. If I've done that, my job is done, indeed.

 

(So, basically, this is like any other post you've written.)

 

I can stop writing you any time I want, you know.

 

(No you can't. I'm a par………………………………)

 

*

*

*

 

You were saying?

 

(Never mind. Carry on.)

 

That's what I thought. So, here we are nearing the end of 2015. It's been an interesting year, that's for certain. For me the year has brought a number of major, life-changing events once again, including some finality, new beginnings, new ink, friends lost and found, and a short-lived love affair with Yvonne Strahovski.

 

(Wait… WHAT???)

 

Ok, fine, not so much a "love affair" as much as I "binge watched the last season of Dexter, in which she starred." Details. My point is that 2015 was yet another year of change. To some extent I've grown, and to some extend I've regressed. I think that happens to all of us. Regardless of where I end up come 11:59 pm on December 31^st, there is no question that I am not the same man I was at 12:00 am January 1^st. And that's okay. We were meant to evolve. To learn. To become greater.

 

Now, of course, I've made some of the same mistakes I've made in the past. As the good Star Lord says "I don't learn. One of my issues." Still, I've made some pretty good decisions this year, too. Especially with regard to those I've welcomed into my life, and those I've removed from it.

 

(Did you kill someone???)

 

What? NO! Oh my God, what is wrong with you??? I meant I purged some negativity from my life and cut ties with those that brought nothing to me other than heartache or grief. Relationships, of any form from friendship to love, must be balanced. I simply grew weary of the scales tipping decidedly in the wrong direction.

 

(*phew*)

 

Where was I going with this? Oh, right…. My point is that change is not a bad thing. We are ever changing, every day. The way we act, the way we react, the way we perceive, understand or assume… all of these things alter us each and every time we engage in the acts. From time to time we'll slip back into patterns and practices, but by and large everything we do, we do differently every time. Think about that for a bit.  Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I am a creature of habit destined to be the same person I am and always was…. But I don't think so.

 

(You'll always be weird….)

 

Define weird.

 

(I… um… er…. Dang. You got me there.)

 

See? Although, if "weird" is some undefinable adjective used to describe those who think differently, I'll take it. I'll be weird. I'll continue to hate the Jeep "Cherokee" and love bacon. I'll forever think that Keanu Reeves, however stellar a person he may be in real life, can't act his way out of a paper bag even with a flashlight and a pair of scissors. I'll make fun of moronic politicians, I'll say things with which some won't agree, and I'll always share the inner workings of this weird mind of mine with unabashed honesty, because it's who I am.  And I ask you to do the same.

 

(You want us to be you?)

 

*smh* I want you to be you. Be yourselves. Have your triumphs and make your mistakes. Be the ever changing person you are, because you are unique, and pretty awesome. Don't be afraid to reach out, or even hide, sometimes. Do what makes you happy and what feels right, and to hell with anyone who says otherwise. I mean, you know, don't do anything illegal, or anything, but… If you like piña coladas, drink piña coladas. Do you like piña coladas?

 

(…and getting caught in the rai… GODDAMMIT!!!!!)

 

I did warn you….

 

(I… touché, pussycat.)

 

No matter what, know this: I appreciate you, all of you, who take moments from your precious time and spend them with me and my words. I don't think I can ever truly express how much it means to me that these words are not just ideas in my head, but parts of me that I can share with you. It makes my crazy world that much more bearable, and yes, weirder. And that rocks. So thank you. When it comes to my words, I swear this: I'm never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.

 

(…never gonna run around and des…. I hate you. Seriously.)

 

Rick. Rolled.

 

(*glares menacingly*)

 

My work is done here. See you in 2016.

 

 

© 2015 J.J. Goodman. All rights reserved.