Something a Little Less Rational
Ok, I admit, yesterday's post was a little heavy. So let us funny walk our way to the other side of my psychosis Monty Python style and delve into something a little lighter...
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So, I was thinking….
(Oh crap, here we go….)
You just be quite, imaginary, parenthetical heckler.
(You started it….)
ANYWAY, as I was saying – I was thinking, about a great many things. Topics range from cars to women to song writing to sno cones to my favorite type of chocolate. Do you want to know what I concluded?
(This should be good….)
I said be quite, imagined reaction of my readers brought to life in parenthesis!!!
(Fiiiiiine. Will there at least be cookies?)
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Are you done?
*pause*
(Yes.)
Now then… I have concluded that there is no such thing as rational thought when it comes to what we like or love. I'll pause again while you ponder that, and then I'll say it again: There is no such thing as rational thought when it comes to what we like or love.
(He's off his meds aga… Wait… That actually kind of makes sense. I'm starting to understand him. This is not good….)
Stuff it. Let's talk about this. What is "rational" thought? Dictionary.com defines "rational" as "using reason or logic in thinking out a problem." Ok. So tell me – What reason or logic did I utilize in deciding that I prefer dark chocolate over milk chocolate? None. Zip. Nada. I just like it better. There's no particular reason. There's certainly no logic. I didn't go all Spock and say "There are certain, inherent health benefits contained in the chemical substructure of dark cacao that are not present in milk chocolate, thus I shall therefore prefer this over the other."
(It's just chocolate, you pointy-eared bastard! DAMMIT! Now he's got me doing it!)
See? Being irrational is fun, isn't it? No, I prefer it because I just do. I like the taste. No reason why, I just do. And is there logic to my preferring a Jeep to any other vehicle I've owned? Oh, hell no. Logic would dictate that one look at the estimated mpg for the vehicle would prevent from me even considering the purchase of a Jeep. Yet, there it is, my '04 TJ, parked in my garage. With big tires, no less. Is it rational for me to own such a vehicle? Probably not. Do I care? Ask me when I'm cruising along with the top off, blaring Drop Kick Murphys and letting the warmth of the sun beat down on me. READ: NOOOOOOOOOO, I do not care if doing so is irrational. And for you Prius drivers: yes, you may get 42 mpg, but I can guarantee you with unequivocal certainty that you will never has as much fun in your Prius as I will in my Jeep. Now go get your groceries.
When it comes to love, well, let's just say that anyone who believes there is anything rational about loving another human being, the rare exception being those that share genes… and I said genes, not jeans. I know there are some of you that do share clothing, and I'm sure you love each other, but that does not make such behavior rational….
(*ahem*)
Right, sorry. I digress. Anyone who thinks that there is any reason or logic to falling in love, please put on the tinfoil hats you received when you admitted that you thought Crocs were cool, so that we can identify and throw things at you. Loving is perhaps the most irrational act in which we engage. We cannot control it, thus there is no reason. We refuse to let it go when we should, thus there is no logic. Love is an amorphous bubble of irrational ridiculousness from which there is no escape. And yet, we do it anyway. Wrap your Vulcan mind around that!
Lastly, and most importantly, the Snoopy Sno Cone Maker is the single most important and essential made-made device ever of all time in all the land. That, or the Atari 2600. It's a toss-up. Why? No reason.
(Dude. Seriously. Most therapists take insurance….)
That's true, but let's be honest – How much fun would I really be if I was normal?
*pause*
(Touché.)
I rest my applesauce.
© J.J. Goodman 2013. All rights reserved.