Soul Searching and Serenity

What is “soul searching,” anyway? Looking for the capital of South Korea on Google Earth? Attempting to discover the Well of the Souls? (Snakes? Why did it have to be snakes???) Ordering “soul food” for the first time? (Seriously – what the f*** is okra, anyway?) Flipping channels and finding the old Soul Train variety show in syndication? (That can’t be it, at least not for me. What has two thumbs and is about as “white-man-overbite-got-no-rhythm” as they come? That’s right: this guy.) I joke, but think about it: what does soul searching entail? I suppose it’s different for all of us.

So what is soul searching to me? I define it thusly: a metaphysical, psychological sojourn through which an individual contemplates one’s existence and comes to a determination of purpose and happiness. (Take THAT, Freud.)

Personally, I think there is one particularly thing that is absolutely essential in order to fully embark on a soul searching journey, and that one thing is serenity. (I am not talking about the fictitious space freighter that served as the setting for the TV show Firefly… although that would be, in the words of Samuel L. Jackson, mother eff’n cool.) No, I am speaking of serenity as defined by dictionary.com. (Thank you very much, world wide interweb.) (I’m using a lot of parenthesis today, aren’t I? Yeah deal with it.)

Serenity is defined as “the state or quality of being serene, calm or tranquil.”  I firmly believe you cannot soul search without serenity, and let’s be honest – sometimes you need to do a little soul searching in order to find serenity. Like yin and yang, I don’t think one can exist without the other. I found a little of both recently, whilst embarking on the “unexpected journey” referenced in my earlier post. Life was spinning, and I was getting motion sickness. So I slowed the wheel down, leaped off, and went for a walk. Literally. (Ok, fine. I jumped on a plan at an ungodly hour of the morning, flew, dumped my bag at the hotel, and THEN went for a walk.) But what a walk it was.

My morning started out by standing in the shadow of the Capitol Building, the sun rising behind it. Though I could never perfectly capture the extraordinary beauty of the moment, I tried my best:

In those early hours it was as if I had the entire city to myself. No traffic, no honking horns, no throngs of tourists to mar the experience. It was breathtakingly… serene.

I wandered the National Mall in quiet contemplation, meandering from the Capitol all the way to the Lincoln Memorial, stopping along the way to spend a good deal of time appreciating the World War II Memorial. I honestly cannot describe what I felt that day other than to say that I was overcome by an overwhelming sense of peace. The temperature was cold, but not biting. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky save a few billowy wisps here and there, and there was quiet. I don’t think I ever really understood the notion of hearing your own thoughts until that day. It was a remarkably moving experience. So peaceful was it that day that I was actually able to take this picture of the Washington Monument, across the entire length of the National Mall's reflecting pool, without another soul appearing in the photograph:

My little journey began that morning, but didn’t end until several days later, after having spent time with friends, and time alone, wandering the museums of the Smithsonian and enjoying a small taste of D.C. nightlife. There were many moments that I found myself in awe: standing in the National Gallery or Art, face to face with an original Monet;

 to standing in front of the most storied spacecraft in human history; 

simply gazing again at the Capitol;

 or taking in the solemnity of Arlington National Cemetery.

Each and every moment was a different step towards discovery. (No pun intended. Since that is the Space Shuttle Discovery up there...  Just, shush.) However, it was in the wee (yes I said wee) hours of the morning, standing at the end of Constitution Avenue with the dome of the Capitol glowing like a beacon before me, when the epiphany hit. Something happened in that moment that I will forever remember, and cherish fondly. Again, neither written nor spoken words can adequately describe the moment, but rest assured I learned what it was to find my soul and the serenity it sought.

So, if someone asks if I’ve ever done any soul searching, my answer will be an emphatic yes, yes I have. And I highly recommend it. Maybe for you it’s simply curling up in an overstuffed chair with a glass of wine and listening to Mozart. For others it could be a physical journey, displacement from your norm, which does the trick. For others still a run in the park at dawn, or raiding a pint of Ben & Jerry’s in the middle of the night, standing in front of the open freezer in your bathrobe. Whatever your path may be, take it. You won’t regret it. And hey, if watching Soul Train or Raiders of the Lost Ark does it for you, by all means, don’t let me stop you. (Let’s face it – sometimes you just need a little Indiana Jones.)

Oh, and one other thing – (Parenthesis) (Just because.)


© J.J. Goodman 2013. All rights reserved.