Knowledge is... what, exactly?

Recently I've come to wonder something: What is it to "know" a person? How do we connect, and why? While there are underlying reasons as to why, I don't believe that there is any one correct answer to those questions. In my case, well, you'll see.... 

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            What does it mean to know a person? Think about it. A person’s name comes up in conversation and you may say “I know him” or “I know her,” but do you? What do you mean when you utter those words? Do you know his favorite color? Do you know that she has a deep seated fear of spiders? Did you know that when he was five he tripped over a snow tire in his parent’s garage and sliced his forehead open? And did you know that she loves to listen to Mozart while sipping tea on a cool summer morning? Probably not. Then again, do you really have to know all of the intimate details of a person’s life to know that person?

            If you’re wondering where all of this is coming from, let’s just say its two parts lack of sleep, one part general curiosity, and a dash of neurosis. I wonder. I wonder all the time about a great many things. Events in my life, old, new and yet to pass will forever make me wonder. Reflecting on a recent conversation with a friend (we’ll get to why I consider this person a friend in a moment… patience, grasshopper), I paused to ponder. How did this person become my friend, and how is it that I know this person, if I even know him/her at all?

            As our existence hurtles forward through perhaps the greatest era ever for global communication, we find ourselves “meeting” people in new, different, and curious ways. MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and other social media have propelled us to a point where we have simultaneously become anonymous faces in a crowded cyberspace, yet also find ourselves bare and exposed for the whole world to see. Call it fate, destiny, or random chance, but among the millions of people utilizing social media every day, there are those that find each other, previously unknown to one another, who establish a bond that would never have been possible just a decade before.

            I have friends. I have a drink with them on Friday nights. I golf (and I use the term loosely) with them on Saturday afternoons. I shake their hands, hug them, laugh with them, laugh at them, and cry with them on occasion. I know them, don’t I? Why would I share myself with them if I didn’t? Human beings are, by nature, social creatures. I think there is an inherent need and desire to surround ourselves with others. But how many of those around you do you truly know?

            I have been lucky throughout my life to have many friends, but I must be honest with myself in admitting that I really don’t know all that many of them. The funny thing is, that’s ok. I don’t need to know everything about you, nor do you need to know everything about me. Still, there are those few that I believe do know me, and whom I know well. Some I have been acquainted with for twenty years or more. Some I recently met and became instantly connected to. And some, some I have never actually “met.”

            That seems strange to say, that I know someone whom I’ve never met, yet I do. I am certain I do. And I’ve let them know me. Why? Why let someone who is otherwise a complete stranger know who you are, without being able to look in their eyes, or feel the firmness of their handshake? Here’s why: Some bonds are stronger than physical proximity, and need not be reduced to something as trivial as “nearness” to be validated. I have a friend whom I consider to be one of my closest, though we have only seen each other a few times in the last several years. We knew each other, without ever physically meeting, long before ever standing together in the same room. It just worked. It happens, and I’m thankful it does.

            I have another friend, again, one I consider very close, whom I still have yet to meet face to face. Yet I trust this friend, I value this friend’s opinion, and would have a void in my life if this friend were not a part of it. Do I know this friend? I do. I don’t think I do, I do.  How is it possible to know someone I’ve never met? I don’t have an answer. I probably never will. Some things just happen. I’m sure there’s a reason, there’s a reason for everything. We may not comprehend that reason, but there is a reason just the same.

            So what does it mean to know someone? I think each of us has to answer that question for our self. I don’t have an answer, frankly. Maybe it’s just a feeling. Perhaps instinct, or it could just be that you know someone because that person wants you to, and it’s that simple. However it happened, I am truly glad I’ve gotten to know those certain people that have influenced me, inspired me, carried me, and humbled me. You know who you are, and I thank you and love you. Simply by knowing you, I have been able to starting knowing myself again, and I haven’t known me for a long time. And you know what? I like knowing me.

            I’ve rambled. I do that from time to time. If you’ve been able to glean anything from these words, I hope it is this: know your friends, but understand that you don’t have to know everything about them to call them friend. If you have friends that truly know you and vice versa, well, that’s just the icing on the cake. And most importantly, don’t think that just because you’ve never met someone, you can’t know them. You can. You really can. You know?