Creativity, Thou Hast Taken a Different Path

In case you hadn't noticed, I tend to write a lot about paths and journeys and how those that we follow inevitably intertwine. Well, all the reunion activity over the past weekend had provided me living, breathing examples of how that happens. It's also inspired me and given me an idea for a new story. As you know I am a stream of consciousness writer. When the ideas come, I type, it's that simple. Yes, I know I should be working on Phaedrus, and yes, I know I've already said that several times already. I will finish it soon, I promise. In the meantime, this story entered my mind and is insisting to be told. Below is the first chapter of what will be many. This is most definitely a story that I will be finishing. When? When it tells me it's done. Until then I offer the first chapter of my new work entitled, simply, "Reunion," written just now on my lunch break.  Again, your thoughts/comments/questions are solicited and appreciated.

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Chapter 1.

Jamie Tanner leaned against his car and rubbed his finger, hoping to wipe away ten years of a bad decision. Despite his efforts he could erase neither the residual indentation nor the fading tan line left behind by the wedding band he wore for over a decade. Whether it was his defiant indignation or simply the insecurity of being alone, Jamie fought his divorce and wore that ring right up until the moment he finally succumbed to the finality of his marriage and signed his divorce papers. That was four months ago.

He took a deep breath and watched as couple after couple walked into the restaurant. He had hoped to be among them. He was supposed to be walking in to his twentieth reunion with his wife at his side and a phone full of pictures of his children to proudly display. Instead, he would be walking in alone and carrying nothing more than the baggage of a failed marriage. Jamie didn’t even want to be there and agreed to attend only at the insistence of his best friend Liz, mostly because she threatened to bring pictures from their childhood and show them to everyone if he didn’t come to the reunion. At that thought he snickered. He loved Liz. Liz Bowman had been his best friend since second grade.

Finally summoning enough courage to face his entire graduating class, Jamie reluctantly headed inside. Greeted first by a table full of nametags he was almost overcome with grief. Even for the few remaining classmates that had not yet arrived, there was on the table a double set of nametags – one for the classmate, one for the classmate’s spouse. Jamie’s nametag, however, sat alone and to the right. He put it on, closed his eyes, and sighed. Liz didn’t give him a chance to wallow for long as she called his name the second he passed through the double doors into the banquet room.

“Jamie!” she shouted as she ran over and embraced him. “I was afraid you weren’t going to come!”

“Not like you gave me a choice,” he said with a wink.

“Oh stop. I have no idea where those pictures are, and even if I did, I’m still in them, remember? No one needs to see that hair again!”

Jamie laughed. As he looked around the room and saw everyone’s senior portraits displayed on their nametags, he suspected many felt the same way Liz did. He recognized many faces, but not all. For the most part the years had been kind to everyone. Most of the women looked the same, only more mature. Jamie counted himself among the lucky men. Though graying, his chestnut brown hair hadn’t receded nearly as much as some of the other guys’, and his waistline hadn’t expanded nearly as much as others. If there was one bright side to the stress of a contested divorce it was the tangential weight loss that accompanied it. He had dropped nearly twenty pounds in the months leading up to court and the depression that settled in afterwards had stifled his usually healthy appetite.

“Tanner!” someone called out. Jamie forced a smile. He suspected the rest of the night would follow along those lines. The room would be filled with genuine excitement as friends long separated reunited for a night. There would also be the superficial hugs and kisses and feigned interest in the lives of people with whom he never really associated twenty years ago, either. Still, there were those he was grateful to see, and it was with those people that he spent his time.

“Can you believe Susie Delmar has five kids?” Liz asked at one point.

“Five?” Jamie responded incredulously. “Holy shit!”

“I know, right? I though I was bad with three,” Liz exclaimed before breaking into her signature laugh. Jamie couldn’t help but chuckle. Liz was a true friend and had it not been for her setting him at ease, and bringing him a few scotch and sodas from the bar, he was sure that the night would have been an unmitigated disaster. From time to time he would scan the crowd to see if there was anyone else he really wanted to talk to, and he was almost ready to call it an early night when he saw her. Sydney Hoffman.

Sydney Hoffman had been one of the most popular girls in school back then, but thankfully not a stereotypical one. Jamie liked to think that in high school he flew under the radar, not associating with any one particular group of people. It allowed him to be friends with a pretty diverse group of individuals, though unfortunately none of the relationships were as strong as he might have wanted them to be. Sydney Hoffman was among those friends. Wealthy and beautiful, Sydney immediately rose to the top of the proverbial high school food chain. Still, their fateful assignment as lab partners in tenth grade chemistry allowed them to forge a bond that, though sometimes tenuous, nevertheless remained intact throughout their remaining years of high school.

As with most friendships of that nature, they lost touch after graduation and he hadn’t seen or heard from her until he got a friend request from her through Facebook a few months before the reunion. She was married and a stay at home mother of two, and had moved back to the area about three years prior. Jamie had been back in town for four.

Jamie couldn’t help but stare as he sat and sipped his scotch. Sydney was talking to a couple of their other classmates and was facing to his right, just at the perfect angle so that he could see flashes of the radiant smile that he remembered. Her wavy blond hair cascaded to her shoulders and her crystal blue eyes reflected the dim light in the room so vibrantly they almost seemed to glow. Her hips were slightly wider than he remembered, no doubt the result of birthing two children. Still, Sydney Hoffman was every bit as striking as he remembered her being as a teenager. More so, in fact. She was a pretty girl. She was an alluring and beautiful woman. He wasn’t conscious of the smile that had crept across his face until her eyes met his.

“Jamie!” she shrieked as she ran over to him. He stood and grinned as she threw herself into his hugging embrace. “It’s so good to see you! I’m so glad you came!”

“Hey, Sydney,” Jamie had refused to call her “Sid” as most of their classmates had called her. It had always seemed too juvenile to him, and ill fitting for someone who even back then was a more mature woman than some of the ladies attending the reunion now. “How are ya, darlin’?”

“Better now! How are you doing? Are you ok?” She asked with concern. Jamie had hoped no one would ask, and he knew Sydney’s query was born of genuine sincerity.

“I’m fine, really. Just glad to get out and see everybody! I saw Denise and Eric earlier. It’s about time those two finally got married!”

“No kidding. They’ve only been together since seventh grade. Come on! Come say hi to Amy and Carolyn!” With that Sydney grabbed Jamie and tugged him away from his table. There was something strangely comfortable in the way Sydney held his hand. Liz just sat and grinned, watching as Jamie was literally pulled back into life.

For the rest of the night Jamie mingled, laughed, and reconnected. The apprehension he had felt at the beginning of the evening had been washed away by the camaraderie in the room. The alcohol helped, too. At one point he sat at the bar talking to Cary Orton, whom he had known since the first day of kindergarten. They both smiled and snickered as the cliques they remembered from years ago had formed once again. The popular girls, Sydney included, were all on the dance floor, the jocks were mostly at the bar, and “nerds” all sat at a table playing with their iPhones. Jamie and Cary honestly didn’t fit in anywhere in particular, so they just leaned against the bar and watched silently. The music was loud, almost too loud, and Jamie snickered again. “Damn, I’m old,” he muttered as he came to the realization that he was turning into one of those “old guys” that complained about the volume.

“Fuck you. If you’re old than so am I,” Cary chided. The both laughed again. It felt good to be standing there with his old friend, if even for a night. Cary would be traveling back to New York the following day and resuming his daily endeavors as a day trader on Monday. For the time being though it was like old times. Jamie was just about to get another drink when he heard Journey’s “Open Arms” start playing. That song brought back memories of his senior ball. Lost in thought, he hadn’t noticed that Cary had wondered away and it was someone else poking him in the shoulder. He turned and was greeted by Sydney’s smile once more.

“Dance with me, Jamie Tanner.”

Jamie hesitated briefly before saying to himself “What the hell,” slugging down the rest of his drink and taking Sydney’s hand. He led her to the dance floor and placed her arms in his. He felt like the awkward teenager he had been back then, only this time he was a grown man and dancing with the girl he had crushed on two decades ago. He regretted asking the question the second the words left his lips. “So where is your husband tonight?”

In response Sydney let out a deep sigh and he could feel her body tense. “He doesn’t really do these things,” she replied before resting her head against Jamie’s chest. She would offer no more on the subject, and Jamie didn’t pry. Instead he remained content to just hold her close and dance, reveling in the warmth of her body pressed close to his. When the song ended Sydney looked up at him with an apologetic and sorrowful air.

“Sydney, are you ok?”

“I’m fine. Thanks for the dance,” she said with a clearly forced smile. “I’m going to grab a drink. Do you want anything?” she asked.

“No, I’m good, thanks.” With that Sydney smiled again and headed to the bar. Jamie returned to his table and sat down with Liz and her husband Tom.

“She’s married,” Liz reminded him.

“No shit.”

“Just sayin’.”

“Yeah, because I need that right now. Gimme a break, will ya? You do realize this is the first time I’ve been out since,” he began, his voice trailing off. His broken heart still had trouble admitting that he was divorced.

“I know. And I’m glad you’re here. You know I love you, right?” Liz said as she dropped her head to his shoulder. Jamie kissed the top of her head.

“I know. I love you too, Lizard,” he said with a smirk. With mock indignation Liz smacked Jamie hard, and laughed again. Tom just smiled and shook his head. Jamie was glad that Liz had found him. She had dated some losers, but had finally recovered from a string of bad choices long enough to give Tom a chance. He was a college professor, stable, and compassionate. Though he was sorry to see Liz move to Chicago, Jamie was nonetheless elated that she had found someone who treated her with so much love and respect. Tom was not the jealous type and, unlike Jamie’s ex wife, had no trouble accepting the closeness that Jamie and Liz shared. They were like brother and sister, regularly told each other that they loved one another, and held nothing back from each other. Tom appreciated the fact that Liz was able to maintain that kind of friendship for so many years and over so many miles, and had become great friends with Jamie as a result.

“I think I’m going to go,” Jamie announced. The night was winding down anyway and he was tired. Though he had to admit that he enjoyed the evening, he was spent.

“Fine. Go. Loser,” Liz joked. Jamie scratched his eyebrow with his extended middle finger, sending Liz in to another one of her uproarious laughs. “Go. Goodnight. Call me tomorrow.”

“I will.”

Jamie wandered the room and said goodbyes, collected business cards and phone numbers and made what he knew would be, for the most part, empty promises to keep in touch. He wasn’t being glib, he was being honest with himself. Though in most instances he wanted to keep in touch, he simply wasn’t good at it. Life usually found a way of, well, getting in the way of many things he wanted to do. He looked for Sydney to say goodbye and, when he didn’t see her, resigned himself to sending a note to her on Facebook the next day. He was a little surprised to hear her raised voice when he stepped outside. She was on the phone in the patio area of the restaurant and clearly agitated.

“You promised me, David. You promised me that you were going to stay home with them!” Sydney had neither noticed Jamie standing there nor realized that she had the volume on her phone turned up so high that Jamie could hear David’s voice coming through loud and clear.

“Why the hell do you get to go and get hammered and I don’t?”

“First of all, I am not hammered. Second, you go out and get hammered all the time. This is my twentieth reunion, David! It happens once. Once! I asked you to come with me but you didn’t want to go. Now I know why! Did you at least get a baby sitter?”

“Oh for God sakes, Sid! Jeffrey’s twelve! And they’re asleep! They’re fine!”

“You’re an asshole,” Sydney yelled before hanging up and bursting into tears.

“Hey,” Jamie said quietly, almost hoping she wouldn’t hear him. As soon as she saw him she leapt to her feet and wiped her tears, feeling completely embarrassed and ashamed. “You ok, Sydney?” he asked compassionately.

“What did you hear?” she asked, ignoring his question.

“Enough. Is there anything I can do?”

“No, no. There’s nothing anyone can do,” she answered, slumping back down into the chair behind her. Jamie walked closer and pulled a chair over from the next table.

“Look, I’ve been there, ok? I know what it’s like to deal with someone who, who isn’t who you think they are. I’m not going to pry, but I’m here if you need someone to talk to, ok?”

Sydney nodded and wiped more tears away. Her mascara was starting to run and instinctively Jamie reached forward, took the tissue from her hand, and wiped away the blackness that she couldn’t see.

“Thanks. Sorry. Sorry I’m such a mess. I don’t want to keep you,” she said as she stood. “Carolyn is giving me a ride home. I’ll be fine.”

Jamie took his cue and stood himself. “I’m here if you need me,” he reminded her again before placing a kiss on her forehead. “Be good.”

Their eyes met and fixed on each other for a brief second. Jamie purposely forced the moment to ensure Sydney knew he was serious. She gave him another meek smile. “Go.” Jamie nodded and began to walk away. He had barely made it off the sidewalk before she called to him. “Jamie, wait.”

He turned as Sydney ran towards him. When she reached him she hugged him tightly. “Thank you,” she whispered, he voice muffled as she buried her face in his shirt. She pulled away and looked him in the eyes once more. Without thinking she reached up and placed a soft, lingering kiss on his lips. “Thank you, Jamie,” she said once more as she pulled away and ran back inside.

Jamie stood there without moving. Nearly ten minutes had passed before his muscles would allow him to walk back to his car. There he sat for another eternity before he finally shook off the fog that had enveloped him and managed to drive home. He collapsed onto his bed, exhausted and confused, yet still enjoying the reminiscent taste of Sydney’s lips on his.

© J.J. Goodman 2011. All rights reserved.