J.J. Goodman: Writings, Musings and More

            This past weekend I did a whirlwind tour of Tampa , Florida to both help out a friend and visit with family. (Details of the trip, and photos even, may follow in a later post.) Now, I am not exactly what one would call an experienced flier. In fact, prior to Friday, I could count the number of round trip flights I had ever taken on one hand. Now I’m up to two hands. Perhaps someday I’ll even have to take my socks off to count. (Please don’t ask what happens when I get to twenty-one.) Traveling through four different cities/airports with layovers gave me a wonderful opportunity to do a lot of people watching, and holy crap on a cracker there was some GOOD people watchin’ to be had. Here are just a few of my observations: 1.          They don’t call it Hot ‘Lanta for nothing. While in the Atlanta Airport , I don’t think I have ever seen so many attractive people gathered in o...

Rules of the Road, Revisited - When one commutes, one has a great deal of time to observe those around one, often leading one to hold interesting, one-sided conversations in one’s mind about what one…wait, which one?   I forget. Any way… I drive a lot. I think we’ve established that. Previously I had published fifteen rules of the road that one… you, I, whatever… must follow, lest he/she/we/you/I/that guy be subjected to public humiliation and ridicule, including but not limited to flogging with footwear, Gypsy curses, and/or revocation of Man Card benefits. (Sorry for all the “including but not limited to, and/or” stuff. Sometimes the lawyer in me just comes out. I usually shut him up with some scotch, but that’s generally frowned up during the lunch hour.) In any event… As I continue with my daily expeditions through western New York ( Rochester , incidentally, is not nor will ever will be “upstate,” so don’t even go there. Albany is upstate. Watertown and the Adirond...

Yesterday I posed a challenge to readers on both my professional and personal Facebook walls to submit ideas for a story. I promised that I would choose one of those ideas and write a story naming the "contestant" as the protagonist. That task turned out to be much more difficult than I imagined. Therefore, instead of choosing one story idea, I have mashed several of them together and have incorporated as many of those that submitted ideas into the story. What you are about to read below is the fruit of that endeavour. Please note, however, that for those of you from whom I have (with your permission) taken characters' names, I will, as always, take great liberties in the writing. While your characters will bear your names, and likely many of your personal traits, there will also be many deviations, characteristics and situations which may not be reflective of who you are in real life. If at any time, as I weave this tale, you become uncomfortable with how the story ...

Just going to jump right in this time. Facebook friends of the author's alter-ego will understand... _________________ “Son of a bitch,” he exclaimed. He had been enjoying a lazy summer afternoon, floating in the pool, drinking a beer and listening to the combined hum of the pool filter and the countdown of the great hits of the 80’s that poured from the outdoor speakers mounted on the house. The sun, light breeze, and gentle waves in the pool had nearly lulled him to sleep when the music cut out in the middle of Toto’s Africa . The iPad, connected to the stereo inside, had timed out and lost the satellite radio signal. Within seconds thereafter, the pool filter, which had switched itself on and off a half a dozen times already, died again as well. Reluctantly, he paddled over to the pool stairs and lifted himself out of his float and dried himself off. No one else would be home for hours and he’d be damned if he was going to waste one of the rare opportunities he had to f...

I drive. I drive a lot. Not as much as some of you, but more than most. I usually log one hundred and fifty miles a day, five days a week, and then some. I have been doing this for a couple of years now and, over that time, I have devised the following Rules of the Road. They are simple and easy to follow. Print them and tape them to your dashboard. But don't read them while driving. Lawyers put up billboards telling you that they sue distracted drivers. And they will. Their number is on the billboard, if you want to call them. That big billboard. That you're reading. While driving. Yeah. _____________________ 1.          If you tailgate me while I am in the left lane and passing other cars, I will engage my windshield washers and disengage my cruise control. Aw, did your shiny black Mercedes get water spots? Too bad, so sad. 2.          Simply turning on your directional signal does not automati...