J.J. Goodman: Writings, Musings and More

Late work night  + Ambien + fascination with a certain post-apocalyptic television show = healthy dose of WTF this morning. Yes, this came out of my head. Yes, I know I need help. But let's be honest - how interesting would I be if I wasn't as messed up as I am?  So, enjoy... Into Oblivion _________________________________________________ The roar of the crowd was deafening. Frankly he was surprised that the ruling faction was able to gather so many people for the event. Of course, they likely didn’t have a choice. It was difficult to make examples of the resistance fighters if there was no one to watch. He guessed that most of them had been forced from their homes and herded to the stadium. Standing there with the others, shackled together, he stood defiantly until the horns blew and the crowed quieted. The Reaper was about to speak. “Ladies and gentlemen, hello!” he said, his voice booming through the stadium’s sound systems. “We have here another band of dissiden...

Ok, so I just read this again, and determined that I have a seriously messed up imagination. Sometimes you just gotta roll with what God gives ya...  ____________________________ Mother Nature was fickle, indeed. The day before had been an unseasonably warm November day. Today, however, the New England wind brought with it more familiar temperatures. The combination of geothermal warmth of the prior day and the morning’s cold winter air left the valley enshrouded in a thick, barely penetrable fog. He stepped out onto the balcony and breathed deeply, watching his breath as it dissipated and blended with the surrounding mist. He could barely see through the haze, unable to make out the tips of the mountains that loomed in the distance.   He really had no idea how long he had stood there, just staring into nothing. His body was chilled, though he paid it no attention. Breathing deeply again, he let the coolness penetrate his lungs. It soothed him.   “Why are you up...

Whoever said “there are no stupid questions” has clearly never been asked a stupid question. Either that, or such person doesn’t have the World Widened Interweb and never saw Jessica Simpson inquire as to whether “Chicken of the Sea” was really chicken, or tuna. In either event, the simple truth is that yes, yes there are stupid questions, and lots of them. Stupid questions date back the age of dinosaurs. Really, they do. It was a brontosaur, I believe, that excitedly asked “Who wants to go watch the comet?” Maybe it was a stegosaurus. In any event, they gathered their dinosaur friends, some blankets and picnic baskets, and went down to the valley where they were promptly, cosmically cremated. And don’t get me started on Cro-Magnon Men, whose exchange went something like this: Grol: “Slurg, argh grah groh dor grr hawrg tuskie wuskie?” (“Slurg, which end of spear I put in Mastodon?”) Slurg: *THUMP* (Sound of Slurg hitting Grol over the head with a club.) Yes, Virginia, ...

Whether you're a "red" or a "blue," there are a few things we should all agree on: 1) That George Takei is one funny son-of-a-biscuit; II) "Falling back" for Daylight Savings Time is stupid; and iii) taking the time to read and/or write something that is non-work related is healthy and, quite often, rewarding.  To that end... here, read this. Go on. It's ok. Don't be afraid. The words won't bite you, and it will only take a couple minutes. Let me know what you think. Give me ideas. Use your brains (those of you that have them, at least). Speaking of which, here's a joke for you - Q: What did the brain-eating zombies do at the political convention? A: Starve! HAHAHAHAHA... Hahahaha.... hahaha... ha... ahem. Sorry. Here's your story. ________________________________ He hadn’t intended on stopping for coffee. The meetings had run longer than expected, though, and the inanity of the last four hours had sucked from him what litt...